Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
