I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
