the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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