I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
