we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is the high leading the old right now
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
