Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
