we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
