Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
