I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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