Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm always down for nudity.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
