Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
