Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
