After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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