You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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