How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
