before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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