And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
