speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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