she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
