Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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