Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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