Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
