so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You don't make any sense
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