I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
