I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
