we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
