Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize