I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
