question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
