Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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