He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I believe in your delicious
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
