He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you will always have a special place in my vag
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
