every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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