If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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