Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
