Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
