i can't believe i had my finger in that
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
