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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
