Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
