He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We had to coat check the pizza.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
