i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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