You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
