you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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