did you get engaged???
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize