Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize