It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
