So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
