I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
