we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
