You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
