there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
where are my eyebrows?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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