omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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