Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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