like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
