this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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