It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
