My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
