I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
