He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize