I must be too annoying 4 u.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
