how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
