haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
