bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
