He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
