It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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