im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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